


Champion

by OverthinkingFeathers



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Brief mentions of blood and death, F/M, Not so brief mentions of the Chantry explosion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 22:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10886637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverthinkingFeathers/pseuds/OverthinkingFeathers
Summary: Throughout her stay in Kirkwall, people ascribe noble characteristics to her actions. In truth, everything she does is for the survival of her family and friends.





	Champion

The city is quick to make assumptions.

They've barely been in Kirkwall for half a day when the first fight breaks out. A group of Fereldan soldiers go against a lone guard, and the truth of the matter is that Hawke doesn't want to get involved. The guard says _deserters_ instead of _survivors_ , and the tension keeps building around Carver's eyes and Aveline's shoulders. He intends to send them all back, hungry and poor and defenseless against the darkspawn. These refugees aren't wrong for thinking their only chance is force.

And Hawke is tired - tired of running and fighting and the constant uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, if it comes at all - but Kirkwall is the one hope her mother has left. Sometimes, Hawke thinks it's the only thing that made her keep walking after they lost Bethany. They've come too far to turn back now. 

Turning against other Fereldans feels wrong, but there are a hundred more guards between them and anonymity, and some of the soldiers have distinctive blackened veins winding under their skin. They were never going to find relief here. Somehow, justifying it doesn't make her feel any better.

The guard thanks them for the assistance and promises to send along Gamlen as a reward. In the three days it takes for him to appear, people whisper about the fight and her character. _Traitor_ , say some, and _Suck up_. Others, mostly the guards, say things like _Good influence_ and _Cares about order even in times like these_. No one looks twice at her family.

_____________________________

They forget about Isabela too.

"Rivaini's kind of a polarizing figure at the moment," Varric says when Hawke protests. "The fewer people know that she brought the Qunari to Kirkwall in the first place, the better."

"She came back." Hawke's pretty sure Isabela stepping over a guard, Tome of Koslun in hand, is an image that's burned into her brain forever.

"She did, and maybe if this was a love story, I could make it work. The beautiful pirate queen steals a priceless relic and shipwrecks, destiny leads her to team up with the newly restored Lady Amell-"

"Hawke."

"-who  _charmingly_ goes by Hawke, and it's only when she's recovered that artifact that she realizes she's learned to love. She returns, our hero duels for her hand, and the city is saved. That," Varric waves a hand, "would be romantic. Problem is, both of you have your eyes somewhere else. Very obviously, I might add."

She can't argue that. "But a whole room full of people saw her come in with the book. They heard everything."

"A room full of Marcher nobility, Hawke. As far as they're concerned, the Qunari were always going to attack, you saved everyone because you care deeply about Kirkwall and duty and other such shit, and Rivaini is your errand girl. They had their minds made up before half the blood was even spilled."

She doesn't like it. Whatever lapse in judgement Isabela may have had before battle, she deserves to be recognized for her heroism now. Battling her way through the Qunari alone couldn't have been easy, but she did it anyway, without the expectation of personal gain or a reward. It feels wrong to ignore that.

But Bodhan has been turning guests away from the door for two days now while she recovers, and Hawke doesn't have Varric's gift for storytelling. His version will be the truth before long.

_____________________________

 The air tastes like dust and death, and all Hawke can think is _Oh_.

She's pretty sure she should feel something other than relief. There's blood on her armor and dead templars in the street, and no matter how the night ends, nothing will ever be the same. But she's felt something coming for weeks, choked back unasked questions and unhelpful fears until the anxiety in her stomach threatened to overwhelm her. Finally standing in the storm is calming.

It's not until Orsino leaves with an arch, "I will leave your... friend for you to deal with," that the realization of what they all expect her to do hits. Of course. They expect her to kill her lover for a city that happily would have turned her back towards death if it hadn't been for the coincidence of blood. Kill her lover in defense of an institution that rewrote her battles to be more religiously palatable then blackmailed her with the truth. As far as everyone else is concerned, Hawke, champion of Kirkwall, slayer of the Arishok, owner of a sprawling Hightown estate and noble lineage, shouldn't even have to think about the decision.

She wishes they had left years ago.

Anders is leaned forward on the crate, like he can feel the weight of every decision pressing down against him, but his head is held high, defiant. She would have expected nothing else. His plans had become more deliberate in the past few years, more carefully thought out. No matter the consequences, Hawke is sure this was the best solution he could find. But he justifies his actions to the skyline, refuses to look at her, and that hurts a bit. She thought all of friends could see through the Champion guise, especially Anders. Now, she's no longer sure.

They have a lot to talk about. Trust, plans, emotions, perceptions. There's a hundred questions trapped in her throat and a hundred more thoughts beneath her tongue, and once she starts, she's not sure she'll be able to stop. But Meredith has a headstart, and there's no time to waste. Every moment they're here is a moment the templars could be mobilizing their forces. They can't stay.

She wants to say _I still love you_ and _I still believe in you_ and _I'm sorry it came to this_. Instead, she says, "Help me defend the mages."

It means the same thing.


End file.
